Being a parent comes with a lot of sacrifices.
Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mother. Rigel has given me immeasurable happiness! I can’t get enough hugs, kisses, and cuddles, despite the sticky mucus that sometimes comes with it.
However, there are times when I think about my pre-baby days and how much everything has changed. If someone tells you that your life will stay the same even after childbirth, slap that ignorant clown! Haha, just kidding! I’m just saying that that person either has no clue about parenthood or is lying to your face. Lol!
Everything will change. As in everything! The way you think, the way you speak, the way you look (coz you only have 2 minutes to put on makeup), and the way you interact with the people around you will most definitely change.
Every decision you make will revolve around being a parent – where you’ll live, what’s on your grocery list, your weekend plans, even what you’ll have for breakfast. Everything will have a deeper, more complicated meaning because there’s a small human who is solely dependent on you.
My advice is that before this chaotically wonderful affair called parenthood comes to you, soak in the bliss of these 7 Simple Pleasures every single day – while you still can! Because before you know it, you’re married and have kids and the below list of activities will be an impossible dream.
1. Spontaneous Intimate Time
In case you didn’t get what I mean, let me spell it out for you: Yes, I’m talking about SEX!
Say goodbye to the impromptu sexy time on a Sunday afternoon with your sweetheart. When you become parents, you’ll find yourselves discussing the best date, time, and place for an uninterrupted “alone time”. Logistics just becomes part of your sex life – kids should be tucked in or asleep, doors must be locked, and noise reduced to a minimum. Otherwise, you’ll be forced to abruptly conclude your “activity” because your toddler is knocking on the door looking for mommy!
That’s not even the worst part! A new baby demands for a great deal of attention. When you take care of the baby all day, keep the house habitable, and wake up every hour at night to feed the baby, you’ll likely be exhausted. Most of the time, you’d choose sleep over love-making because you just don’t have the energy anymore.
2. Long Relaxing Showers
I remember the weekends when I spend at least an hour in the shower pampering myself with the latest hair treatment and trying out the sugar scrub which was highly recommended by my favorite beauty blogger. Ah, the good old days…
Now that I have Rigel, I get 10 minutes maximum shower time. So, it’s shampoo the hair, soap the body, and rinse! Sometimes when I really want a luxurious shower which involves scrubbing, hair conditioning, and exfoliating, I’d have to do it either at night when Vauhn is already home or really early in the morning when Rigel is still asleep.
3. Binge-Watching Your Favorite Shows
Vauhn and I used to do 3 things on lazy weekends – eat, sleep, and watch our favorite TV shows. We’d watch several seasons of a single show for 2 days straight! Hitting pause only when we’re too tired and sleepy to understand what’s happening. Haha!
Now that we’re parents, we still watch movies… but on installment! Last night, we watched the Ghost in the Shell – the first 20 minutes of the movie anyway, because Rigel wants to watch Tangled for the 687th time. If we’re lucky, maybe we can watch the next 20 minutes of the movie tonight.
4. Sleeping In
The other day, I woke up at around 6 AM and saw that Rigel is fast asleep, so I went back to sleep. Next thing I know, it was 7:30 and Rigel was waking me up with multiple high fives…on my face!
The concept of sleeping in will be a thing of the past. Despite being madly in love with motherhood, I can’t help but look back to my pre-child days when I have full control over my sleep schedule.
I’m also 29 weeks pregnant, so having a good night’s sleep is a challenge. It’s a battle against leg cramps, acid reflux, wild kicking baby, and just finding a comfortable position to sleep in.
5. Your Personal Space
Have you ever used the toilet while someone is standing right in front of you? When you become a parent, it will happen. Suddenly, peeing is like a major performance where you have an audience cheering you on!
Fact: Privacy is a foreign concept to kids. Whether you’re peeing, pooping, taking a shower, or changing your clothes, your kids will find you. They will watch you do your thing or bang on the door screaming “Mommy” until you give in and let them in. Your privacy is now your children’s privacy as well.
6. Trendy and Stylish Outfits
Forget about the newest trend! For a parent, comfort and functionality is what’s important.
There was this time when Vauhn and I took Rigel to a relative’s house to visit. My sister-in-law had a good look at us and asked, “Did you guys go running? Workout?” I don’t blame her for asking. We both were wearing plain shirts, sports shorts, and running shoes.
Believe it or not, Vauhn and I wore the same type of clothes every time we went out with Rigel. We called it the New Parents Uniform! It gives you freedom to move about without being restrained or exposing any private parts. And when you have a toddler running around a vast crowded mall, you’ll need all the mobility, agility, and endurance you can get.
Besides, when your baby pukes, pee, poop, or spill food on you, you can just change your shirt. Trust me, save your cold-shoulder maxi dress, high heels, and hoop earrings for when your baby is all grown up.
7. Night Out With Friends
When was the last time I stayed out past 9 PM? I actually don’t remember anymore. Maybe because when you have kids, spending time with your friends at night is not much of an option anymore. Suddenly, your need for a girls night out is overshadowed by your baby’s need to breastfeed every hour or that urge to sleep because you’ve been awake before sunrise.
Even meeting your friends during daytime requires extensive planning because, of course, you have to take the baby with you. You’ll have to pick a baby-friendly venue that is not too crowded, quiet enough for the baby to sleep, and has room for the stroller. You also have to pack a ton of baby stuff like diapers, baby wipes, bottles, milk, change of clothes, etc.
I am confident that one day, I will wear those huge hoop earring without fear of having my ear ripped by a small human. One day, I will sleep in as late as I want and no one will wake me up asking for milk. Time will come that Vauhn and I will be able to watch our favorite shows to our hearts’ content. One day…
Until that day, I will relish every moment with my kids as I watch them grow every single day. I will gladly share my love, time, and energy for my little loves.
Sure, I will occasionally get nostalgic for the person I was before these little persons took over my life, but I would never go back!